Hold this close (a winter seedlings prequel)

Allie was fourteen when she was raped by a friend. Her boyfriend at the time was furious, not at the other boy, but at Allie for losing her virginity. He once viewed her as pure, good, and entirely his. But afterward, he abused her regularly. She submitted to his cruelty, eager to be redeemed.Allie is now seventeen and free of the abuse, but the effects linger. She is attempting to create normalcy in her life. She wants real love, but doubts if she deserves it. To further complicate things, the kind of love she wants is not ordinary. In her mind, her unusual desires are just another indicator that she is fundamentally broken.How will she navigate the minefield of self-loathing without laying more mines?Hold This Close is a 24,000 word novella with a sample of Winter Seedlings at the end.