Have you ever been surprised by a gently warmed cucumber? Dear reader, be warned: this is one of the potential perils of internet dating. But more on that below.
Middle-aged women comprise the largest demographic bubble in the western world. Millions of us are polishing our bi-focals and scrutinizing the internet in an ever-optimistic search for a half-way intelligent man who doesn’t pick his earwax out with his car key. Maybe even one who reads the occasional book?
We are Bridget Jones’ older sisters – two English colonials who’ve survived an immigrant adulthood in the Midwest. We’re sexier than the Two Fat Ladies but just as ascerbic, and unlike them we can readily tell an imago from an attachment disorder . Like Caitlin Moran we share “a plethora of amazing – and brutally honest – anecdotes”; however, unlike Moran we haven’t yet worked out how to make our bellies into a big feminist smile as she does on her live show.
Most importantly, we’ve been in the trenches: locked in the bathroom to keep the adolescent children at bay while we’ve pursued our own searches for, perhaps not Mr. Right, but at least a warm and acceptable body who might get our jokes and go on the occasional walk. Of course true love – or as Bridget called it: luuurv – lurks as the ultimate goal, but we’ll take what we can get. A combined total of six divorces have taught us the value of achievable goals.
The lengths of bookshelf devoted to dating tips is only overshadowed by the depth of depression these books cause in the unwary reader. “Make eye contact, smile, maintain open body language.” We find these sanctimonious volumes both revolting and supremely unhelpful.
In contrast, we present to you Achieving Liftoff after Forty, a tragi-comic women’s guide to dating: it’s a harsh and bitter world out there and god knows, a good laugh is great therapy. Along with laughs, though, women who last dated in their teens or twenties, whose coming of age spanned the sexual repression of the 50’s to the sexual liberation of the 60’s, and who are now trying to cope with the protocol-free labyrinth of the personals, the internet, tinder (hopefully not grindr ) and the ever-expanding technology of mating, need some help from the accumulated wisdom of experienced personal ad wranglers. We’ve read ‘em, we’ve placed ‘em, we’ve screened, we’ve dated, we’ve been dumped ungracefully, and we’ve dumped ‘em ourselves. We’ve got tips for good closure and tips for safe sex, but most of all we’re tapping into the zeitgeist of contemporary matchmaking with a caustic and self-mocking sense of humor. We believe in the power of affirmations only to the extent they’ll make us laugh.
This book is aimed at those single women over forty who are in the dating market. We welcome the random male reader, particularly those with gender confusion , or the real standout: the man who’s actually interested in what a potential dating partner thinks and feels. But mostly we’re aiming for the funny bone of the woman who, in the absence of sex, is looking for a good book to read in bed. However, between the seductive and charming sheets of Achieving Liftoff lies well-researched and footnoted wisdom on the social-psychology of love and attachment. Questionnaires, checklists, screening and diagnostic tools are included (all of which should be completed with a good glass of wine at hand), along with a bibliography.
We are aware that there is a huge demand from the single woman of a certain age for something that reflects her experience without drowning her in it. In Achieving Liftoff we are filling an as-yet unmet need: we deliver wisdom and poignancy by distilling the bitterness of our dating experiences into hilarious yet helpful advice – though above all we beg the reader not to take said advice too seriously.
Middle-aged women comprise the largest demographic bubble in the western world. Millions of us are polishing our bi-focals and scrutinizing the internet in an ever-optimistic search for a half-way intelligent man who doesn’t pick his earwax out with his car key. Maybe even one who reads the occasional book?
We are Bridget Jones’ older sisters – two English colonials who’ve survived an immigrant adulthood in the Midwest. We’re sexier than the Two Fat Ladies but just as ascerbic, and unlike them we can readily tell an imago from an attachment disorder . Like Caitlin Moran we share “a plethora of amazing – and brutally honest – anecdotes”; however, unlike Moran we haven’t yet worked out how to make our bellies into a big feminist smile as she does on her live show.
Most importantly, we’ve been in the trenches: locked in the bathroom to keep the adolescent children at bay while we’ve pursued our own searches for, perhaps not Mr. Right, but at least a warm and acceptable body who might get our jokes and go on the occasional walk. Of course true love – or as Bridget called it: luuurv – lurks as the ultimate goal, but we’ll take what we can get. A combined total of six divorces have taught us the value of achievable goals.
The lengths of bookshelf devoted to dating tips is only overshadowed by the depth of depression these books cause in the unwary reader. “Make eye contact, smile, maintain open body language.” We find these sanctimonious volumes both revolting and supremely unhelpful.
In contrast, we present to you Achieving Liftoff after Forty, a tragi-comic women’s guide to dating: it’s a harsh and bitter world out there and god knows, a good laugh is great therapy. Along with laughs, though, women who last dated in their teens or twenties, whose coming of age spanned the sexual repression of the 50’s to the sexual liberation of the 60’s, and who are now trying to cope with the protocol-free labyrinth of the personals, the internet, tinder (hopefully not grindr ) and the ever-expanding technology of mating, need some help from the accumulated wisdom of experienced personal ad wranglers. We’ve read ‘em, we’ve placed ‘em, we’ve screened, we’ve dated, we’ve been dumped ungracefully, and we’ve dumped ‘em ourselves. We’ve got tips for good closure and tips for safe sex, but most of all we’re tapping into the zeitgeist of contemporary matchmaking with a caustic and self-mocking sense of humor. We believe in the power of affirmations only to the extent they’ll make us laugh.
This book is aimed at those single women over forty who are in the dating market. We welcome the random male reader, particularly those with gender confusion , or the real standout: the man who’s actually interested in what a potential dating partner thinks and feels. But mostly we’re aiming for the funny bone of the woman who, in the absence of sex, is looking for a good book to read in bed. However, between the seductive and charming sheets of Achieving Liftoff lies well-researched and footnoted wisdom on the social-psychology of love and attachment. Questionnaires, checklists, screening and diagnostic tools are included (all of which should be completed with a good glass of wine at hand), along with a bibliography.
We are aware that there is a huge demand from the single woman of a certain age for something that reflects her experience without drowning her in it. In Achieving Liftoff we are filling an as-yet unmet need: we deliver wisdom and poignancy by distilling the bitterness of our dating experiences into hilarious yet helpful advice – though above all we beg the reader not to take said advice too seriously.
