For cats only: how to train your human and more!

Hello my little kittens and those cats who have not yet mastered the art of training your human. I, Miss Kitty, will guide you through the world of humans and how to train them. You see, humans don?t come with manuals. However, they think they have cornered the market on manuals on how to raise and train us feline masterminds. Correction. Cats can?t be trained. I repeat. Cats cannot and will not be trained. Humans seem to have this misconception that we cats are trainable. WRONG! We choose our humans and everyone knows that. Your human did not choose you! You chose them! Whether they knew it or not, we made the choice of going home with our humans. For example; say you were at a pet store and you saw your human come inside the pet store. You think to yourself, ?Well, he?s a little round around the waist, that means he eats good, which means he will feed me really good. I want to go home with him today.? Then, you meow and put on your best kitten face and play with a ball and act really cute.