At nineteen, Ray Dorsey forgoes college, jobs, cars, and girlfriends. He is sent by his faith to knock on doors for two years in Southern California, with the hopes of converting strangers to his religion. Ray is robbed from his freedom at the very time most youths are discovering themselves.
He searches for outlet in his force-fed solitary world and finds them: in sports, Star Trek, and nature. Trying to make the best of the present, Dorsey regularly loses himself, "I thought how perfect the day was. The sun was still drying the roofs of parked cars and crystallizing dewdrops on blades of grass. I took some time to think of what was around me, where I was, who the people in my life were and how I got to this spot ... I flipped through them quickly, like flipping to a good spot in a well-worn book."
Although Dorsey looks at life differently than his fellow missionaries, he clings to their common threads as young men. With only each other to communicate, they express frustration, laughter, competitiveness, and camaraderie. As much as they try to commit themselves, the tensions of male adolescence grow as they are kept away from women, partying, and enjoying their youth.
Being alone with a young woman, even sitting next to her in a car, was forbidden under Church rules, only escalating their frustration. After being forced to turn down a date with Rachel Barrett, Ray contemplates, "The thoughts quickly made me feel like shit, so I stopped thinking about how miserable the mission was and how I should at least be able to kiss beautiful girls while participating in this crappy thing God called life."
He feels encompassed, drained, and drowned in obligations and rules. He struggles with all the questions to life already answered. He truly has nothing to add, only to follow and obey. By the end of the mission, Dorsey reaches his own philosophy on life, enabling him know that it is his life and he directs it, not God.
He searches for outlet in his force-fed solitary world and finds them: in sports, Star Trek, and nature. Trying to make the best of the present, Dorsey regularly loses himself, "I thought how perfect the day was. The sun was still drying the roofs of parked cars and crystallizing dewdrops on blades of grass. I took some time to think of what was around me, where I was, who the people in my life were and how I got to this spot ... I flipped through them quickly, like flipping to a good spot in a well-worn book."
Although Dorsey looks at life differently than his fellow missionaries, he clings to their common threads as young men. With only each other to communicate, they express frustration, laughter, competitiveness, and camaraderie. As much as they try to commit themselves, the tensions of male adolescence grow as they are kept away from women, partying, and enjoying their youth.
Being alone with a young woman, even sitting next to her in a car, was forbidden under Church rules, only escalating their frustration. After being forced to turn down a date with Rachel Barrett, Ray contemplates, "The thoughts quickly made me feel like shit, so I stopped thinking about how miserable the mission was and how I should at least be able to kiss beautiful girls while participating in this crappy thing God called life."
He feels encompassed, drained, and drowned in obligations and rules. He struggles with all the questions to life already answered. He truly has nothing to add, only to follow and obey. By the end of the mission, Dorsey reaches his own philosophy on life, enabling him know that it is his life and he directs it, not God.
