As Howard eased his cock inside of me as gently as he usually did, I felt an immediate wave of revulsion, and then I felt a horrible wave of guilt wash over me. My husband was a wonderful man, and it was so damn silly that that fucking video tape—that stupid fucking video tape—had suddenly characterized so much of my fantasy life over the last week that now all I wanted was for him to fuck me roughly. I didn’t want him to make love like we usually did; I wanted him to take me and fuck me until I was ripped from my body.
Of course, he had no idea of these desires, and now, for about the fourth night in a row, he was making love to me and I was lying there feeling nothing but anger and even hatred and now guilt. It was untenable. He ran his hands over my body as he thrust, and it ordinarily would have really excited me to feel his hands roaming every inch of me. I would have loved it, absolutely revelled in it, before that damn gangbang video. But now it was so frustrating. I wanted to cry out and scream, I wanted to tell him to spank the hell out of me, to beat me up (in a manner of speaking), to slam into me hard. It was crazy. The weirdest part about it was that it was all in my head. I had no idea whatsoever if I would actually like to have done to me some of the things that the men on that tape were doing to the girl, but it was still a fucking turn-on to think about. I became afraid that he would see the expression on my face, so I reached out and pulled him tightly to me until his face was nuzzling my neck and my shoulders so that there was no chance that he would see the expression.
Of course, he had no idea of these desires, and now, for about the fourth night in a row, he was making love to me and I was lying there feeling nothing but anger and even hatred and now guilt. It was untenable. He ran his hands over my body as he thrust, and it ordinarily would have really excited me to feel his hands roaming every inch of me. I would have loved it, absolutely revelled in it, before that damn gangbang video. But now it was so frustrating. I wanted to cry out and scream, I wanted to tell him to spank the hell out of me, to beat me up (in a manner of speaking), to slam into me hard. It was crazy. The weirdest part about it was that it was all in my head. I had no idea whatsoever if I would actually like to have done to me some of the things that the men on that tape were doing to the girl, but it was still a fucking turn-on to think about. I became afraid that he would see the expression on my face, so I reached out and pulled him tightly to me until his face was nuzzling my neck and my shoulders so that there was no chance that he would see the expression.
