WOMB MAN:
How I Survived Growing Up in a Booby-Trapped World
When I was 32, I did something that made my father immensely proud. Spontaneously, he proclaimed “That’s my boy!” Immediately realizing his error, he shot a panicked look at me, eyes wide with horror.
Equally shocked and catching my breath, I responded, “It’s all right, Dad.”
And it really was all right. Because—for the first time in my life—I felt recognized for who I really was: a remarkable man.
We never spoke of it again. But I began to wonder why it had taken Dad 32 years to “get” me. Or had it? Did he know something I didn’t? And if he did, why was he keeping it a secret?
Was I born intersex and surgically altered as an infant to meet gender norms (the default solution in the mid 50’s for ambiguously-gendered babies, then called hermaphrodites)? Or am I naturally transgender—a man housed in a female body?
There are countless people like me who don’t fit gender norms. Many feel the need to hide who they truly are, to exist without being scolded as strange or feared as foreign. You probably know several of them; they just might not trust you enough to tell you.
Something needs to change. I hope my own story helps that happen.
“Kris Smith's writing is powerful and funny without being mean; compassionate and courageous without asking for a scrap of pity. This is the transgender life story you want to give your teen and pre-teen, your grandmother, pastor, congressman, barista and school counselor.” - Joy Shayne Laughter, Author, Speaker
“Kris’ story gives voice to the complexity of gender assignment and gender identity. A must read for everyone, including those who are secure in their own gender identity. Chances are we all know someone who is struggling and could use support. Kudos to Kris for bravely and openly sharing her personal story.” - Lynda Lien, M.A. Psychology, B.A. Education
How I Survived Growing Up in a Booby-Trapped World
When I was 32, I did something that made my father immensely proud. Spontaneously, he proclaimed “That’s my boy!” Immediately realizing his error, he shot a panicked look at me, eyes wide with horror.
Equally shocked and catching my breath, I responded, “It’s all right, Dad.”
And it really was all right. Because—for the first time in my life—I felt recognized for who I really was: a remarkable man.
We never spoke of it again. But I began to wonder why it had taken Dad 32 years to “get” me. Or had it? Did he know something I didn’t? And if he did, why was he keeping it a secret?
Was I born intersex and surgically altered as an infant to meet gender norms (the default solution in the mid 50’s for ambiguously-gendered babies, then called hermaphrodites)? Or am I naturally transgender—a man housed in a female body?
There are countless people like me who don’t fit gender norms. Many feel the need to hide who they truly are, to exist without being scolded as strange or feared as foreign. You probably know several of them; they just might not trust you enough to tell you.
Something needs to change. I hope my own story helps that happen.
“Kris Smith's writing is powerful and funny without being mean; compassionate and courageous without asking for a scrap of pity. This is the transgender life story you want to give your teen and pre-teen, your grandmother, pastor, congressman, barista and school counselor.” - Joy Shayne Laughter, Author, Speaker
“Kris’ story gives voice to the complexity of gender assignment and gender identity. A must read for everyone, including those who are secure in their own gender identity. Chances are we all know someone who is struggling and could use support. Kudos to Kris for bravely and openly sharing her personal story.” - Lynda Lien, M.A. Psychology, B.A. Education
